Woe is me

Well yesterday was my birthday >>thank you<< and I spent the day at home with Chuck, thanks to Donna!!

But, I've been kinda in a frump since early last week, Donna was delivered a wage garnishment summons, for me :(

I've been battling this debt issue for a long time now, two years ago I joined up with a debt settlement company. The company claims that after 36 months, I should be debt free. I am paying the company $490/mo.

The only backfall of this scheme is that while I have gotten plenty of settlement offers, I have to have the funds to satisfy the offers, rather than what I thought it was (them paying the settlement offer upfront, and my $490 going to them). I have successfully accepted and closed two of my accounts.

Amex
Balance $9,533.00
Settled $2,860.00

Discover
Balance $7,490.00
Settled $5,247.00

So I still have Chase, began at $10,882 they are claiming its now $17,500, and Harris at almost $6,000.

So Chase as issued a wage garnishment for 15% of my weekly earnings, $150, until the judgement of $17,500 has been met. How the FUCK am I supposed to manage with $150 less a week!! $600 frickin dollars a month!!!

My mom suggest that I look into how much I have in my IRA/mutual funds, and see if I can liquify it and offer it to Chase to avoid being garnished. I called and I have $6330, but I'd have to pay like 50% in penalities & taxes.

I am so depressed about this, I dont know what I am supposed to do. Why cant I just come across $20,000 to cover everything and start fresh? Why cant someone just gift me $20k???

Anyone? Anyone?